Rabbit Update - The Sequel

[bk_forever]

So, new update. I just spoke to vetinary nurse Rhiannon, and Misty is out of surgery and awake. They're coaxing him to nibble some food and things are looking reasonably good. He's staying there another night so they can keep a close eye on him, just to be on the safe side, but I'm to phone at 9am tomorrow and hopefully he'll be well enough to come home then. I'll let you know when he's home.

Thank you to everyone for your hugs, good wishes, thoughts and prayers, you've helped me get through two very stressful, worrying days. I'm blessed to have so many great, animal-loving friends, you're the best!

Comments

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

Cont.from last post talking about my friend, Norma. I messed up the first time I posted this one, ignore that one if you got it in your email. I bet you are confused now. lol!

I became anorexic at age 15/16 years old and I know she was jealous of me, but I didn't really want that and I certainally did not want her to feel bad about her weight. When she was in pain, she used food to medicate herself whereas I avoided extra calories at all cost to deal with my pain. I remember feeling so weak walking up steps. People think you are being vain, but that is not true, in fact I hated myself more then than ever before. No matter how much weight I lost, in my mind, I was still huge and didn't understand why Norma thought that she was overweight though I know she was now. Hard to explain, I liked my bones showing because I got attention "finally" someone knew I was alive, but I also knew I looked grotesque. (I was very sweet and "very" shy.) I only got down to about 92 pounds, but I read after I recovered, of girls in the 80's, 70's and lower. I actually thought at one point, I must not have really had the illness since I couldn't even make it down to 85 pounds. I'm 5 foot 3 and a-half so I thought I could have lost some more. I was really sick. My clothes just hung off me and more than once I had to buy new clothes in smaller sizes. I can't believe I had a pair of 3/4 stretch blue jeans at my lowest weight, but of course I was "still" fat! lol! Why did I get off on all that. Sorry. Not sure I have ever told you any of that before.

Getting off that, I knew it was either Tosh or Ianto that shot the glove! I'm glad Ianto helped at least. lol! Yeah, Gwen's an idoit that is for sure. I guess I need to watch that show again. I forgot that it was Gwen's idea to take Suzie and leave.

love Deb*blabbering too much*
:)

[bk_forever]

I never thought i was overweight, but at my worst I dropped to just under 5 stone (not sure what that is in pounds, but I was terribly thin. I still am thin, but I weigh over 6 1/2 stone now, which is much better. I was just having stomach problems all the time and eating made me feel ill. IBS can be crippling, and with my addiction to tranquilizers, I just couldn't seem to care. I was still classed as anorexic though, and that's caused problems since as many doctors assume I was trying to lose weight, when I never was, I just gave up because no one was taking my stomach problems seriously. Whatever the cause, anorexia is a terrible thing and I'm so proud of both of us that we had the strength to fight back against it and recover as well as we have.

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

OH my Gosh!!! Michael just looked it up and you weigh 84 pounds now! You are still very underweight I would think unless you are are about 4 ft. tall. Eat something girl! lol! I'm 138 pounds at the moment. I just looked it up and it says 140 pounds = 10 stone so that is about me right now unless I gain it back again. I would like to be 130 pounds again. 9 stones = 126 lbs. so I want to be between 9 and 10 stone I guess. I would take 9 stone though, no problem. lol!

I think your type of anorexia is different from my kind, but I am glad you got better. I was not sick from food, I was just terriified of being fat which in my mind was weighing more than about 6 and 1/2 stone. I felt I "had" to stay below a 100 pounds which is a little more than 7 stone.

Yes, it was a hard road to walk, but I finally was able to let myself eat again, healthy as much as I could and exercise while keeping my weight in the right range for my height. :) I was so scared watching the numbers go higher on my scale everyday. I didn't understand that I was not healthly at those low weights, but I did realize finally that if I kept on lossing weight, there would be no way back and I would probably die like a lot of girls with anorexia at the time.

[bk_forever]

Not quite that short, but I am only 5ft tall. I should way around 7 1/2, but because of the stomach problems I probably never will get up to that weight. I'd be happy if I could get up to 7 or just over, that would be about where I was before I lost weight. I think I've done pretty well to put on as much weight as I have, considering the problems I have, but it's always an uphill struggle. Putting on weight for me is very difficult, but I lose it quickly if I'm not well or having a bad patch where I can't eat much. We're fighters and survivors though, so we're both doing good! *hugs*

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

I am 5'3 and a-half and I have always wondered why I didn't make it to 5'4. My Mom was 5'5, but I think she has shrunk some now. lol! My Dad's Mom was 4'11 so I guess genetics were against me being a little taller. Clothes in petite sizes don't fit except skirts because the Misses size skirts are way too long most of the time. It is so difficult to find pants and shorts to fit my short inseam. I way digressed here!...anyway you are not that much shorter than I and I understand about your struggle to gain weight. I didn't mean anything bad. I know you see your body the proper way and wanted to be healthy. It must suck to go through so many stomach problems, the pain and discomfort. I can't eat if my stomach gets like that and you had it practically all the time, you poor thing. :( I'm so glad you've gotten better with better medications. I had no stomach problems as a teenager, maybe occasionally, but not like now. I just looked in the mirror and saw this chubby girl looking back at me at age 15 and I was terribly alone and depressed that summer, so then something just snapped in me and I started eating less and dancing to music in my room. I danced off every small meal I had. I never really thought I would lose weight, but it made me feel strong to resist hunger. At first I was ok, a little weight loss was good, but then I became so afraid of gaining it back that is when I became anorexic. Anorexia Nervous truly became known I think when Karen Carpenter died from it at age 32. Strangely enough, she died at the same time I was diagnosed with the eating disorder. What I had was a psychological disorder. When you feel like your life is out of control, the one thing you can control is how much food you put in your mouth. It is weird, but probably kept me from killing myself though I always thought later that it was a slow form of suicide. Thankfully, eventually I read about it and Karen and realized I was sick and I had to fight my crazy thoughts that one bite of food would make me gain 20 pounds and start eating again, slowly. I was lucky, some girls have to go into Eating disorder clinics/hospitals to even start to get better. I was determined to do it on my own, and that was the begining of out-patient help from Psychiatrists and antidepressans. Enough about that, I could write a book about that part of my life. I hope that made sense, I'm tired, in pain, and not thinking clearly.

Yeah since my latest problem I have lost a total of 12 pounds, that was over a 6 month period. Stopping all those medications which tend to make me hold onto weight + the horrible stress and worrying from everything has caused me to lose, in fact lately I feel hungry a lot, but just don't want food all that much. I went to sleep hungry last night. I just didn't care. I think I eat more when I am happier though I must say chocolate is still my friend when I feel bad. lol!...probably why I haven't lost even more weight. I was 136 pounds one day, but it came back. :OP

I'm so tired and better try to sleep. I hope I can; I am afraid to take a pain pill tonight because of the swelling and the welts I had yesterday morning. It's 3:03 in the morning here, but I slept into the afternoon yesterday so I knew I wouldn't sleep early tonight.

love,
Blabbering Deb.

♥

[bk_forever]

Well, I'm better with the new meds but I still have more bad days than good. It's always going to be an uphill struggle.

I'm so proud of you the way youi puleed yourself back and got eating again! You have a lot to be proud of, it proves what a strong woman you are. That's why I know you'll beat these latest problems. i believe in you! *hugs tight* Love you loads! J xxx

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

Oh, I did not know you had more bad days than good ones still. See! You need to complain more like me! No, seriously I'm sorry you have so much pain. You should tell me about it more if it helps. Lord knows I whine enough to you about all my junk! O_O

Well, I know I got through the eating disorder, but I have never had to deal with anything this painful in my life and I don't feel I am handling things too well. I am always losing my temper and patience with my son and sometimes he cries. I feel so bad and tell him I'm sorry, Mommy feels bad...but that is no excuse for me snapping at him.

I hope you feel better. You're strong too. You've lived with so much physical pain since you were very young if I remember correctly. I admire how you have hung in there. :)

{{hugs you back tight}}

love,

Deb.

♥

[bk_forever]

*hugs* Never been much of a complainer, too stoic I guess! Plus, years and years and years, so I get bored talking about my problems, I prefer to just chat and try to forget about them! LJ takes my mind off things, lol!

I had fun yesterday, despite feeling a bit crap, sorting through my crystals, trying to find some that might help (there are more different kinds than you can imagine!) I was sitting on the floor in my room, surrounded by boxes and bags and piles of crystals and my crystal books - I felt like a dragon surveying its hoard! I'll try to get to the post office this week to post what I've found. I'm putting a little something in for Alex too. Does he have a favourite colour?

*hugs tight* Love, J xxxxx

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

Stoic? lol! Trying to imagine you like that. Funny. :)

Alex's favorite color is red. He used to love yellow when he was around 3 years old and now he loves red. He's fickle.

Thank you for going through the stones for me. You don't have to do that you know, but I do love the stones! I wish the one I had for pain would do something. lol! I am cramping on my period now and I can't take "anything" for the pain! I tell you I am cursed! I have always, until now, been able to take aspirin, Advil, any kind of pain medicine and have become allergic to them too because I didn't know if you take any medicine while you are having an allergic reaction to another one, your body can become allerigic to it. It seems from what I just read that I am now prbably allergic to all antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and N-SAIDS (Advil, Aleve, etc.) This is a bad dream that I can't wakeup from. I tried a heating pad for cramps, but it didn't help much + the heat bothers my hives. :( Oh tell me to shut-up!

I can just picture you sitting there with a thousand crystals all around you...and your books. LOL! Hysterical! :) You're a good friend.

Love Deb.

♥

[bk_forever]

I'm glad I made you laugh, I was hoping to - laughter is good medicine!

Just looked up menstrual cramps in my crystal prescriptions book and it suggests Chrysocolla, Citrine, Infinite Stone, Jet, Labradorite, Lapis Lazuli, Magnesite, Rose Quartz, Topaz and Pearl - even I haven't got some of those. Still you have Rose Quartz, and Black Obsidian is general pain relief, so try those for now, I'll shove a couple extras from the list in with what I've already collected. Good job I haven't wrapped them yet!

I well remember the misery of cramps, I used to get them so badly (hence the hysterectomy), Heat helped, but in hot weather it was pure misery because the heat gave me a heat rash. I wish I could suggest something to ease the pain.

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had such bad cramps too, I think you told me you couldn't take pain relievers either? I was dreading menopause, but now I am kind of looking forward to it, especially if I can't ever take any kind of pain medication for it again. Who know's? My body is just so messed up right now. Tylenol might not cause problems, but I used to try it for headaches and cramps and it never did a bit of good for me.

Thank you for the list of crystals. I'm glad I have the Rose Quartz and Black Obsidian at least though I don't think anything but Advil or heavier pain killers can stop my cramps. I gave in that night and took an Oxycodone. Yes I got welts, but I stopped hurting. On Advil, my lip/s are sure to swell up so I resisted taking it. You would think it would be the safer drug to take. ? It is over-the-counter.

The one time heat stopped my cramping was when I put this heated blanket all the way around my lower back and closed it across my front. After awhile they just stopped. I was living with my parents and it was really cold downstairs. Right now all that heat would be very unconfortable and with fresh welts from my last 2 bad reactions, it would be awful!

This is another old post as you know. I hope you are doing ok. On one of your post you said you are still not always sleeping well. Something about being afraid of waking up after 3 hours. I so was hoping your meds helped you sleep through the night more often. I love my sleep and with this pain, I dread trying to sleep except on the nights I take a pain pill. Whine, complain, I know.....

love Deb. :)

[bk_forever]

I hope at least your cramps are over for another month, they can be so miserable to endure! Men have NO idea.

Oh, I haven't slept through the night in longer than I can remember. probably not since before the tranquilizers started having the opposite effect. I wake up every 2 or 3 hours. I get back to sleep again fairly quickly (unless I wake up with indigestion or something), but it's not the same as unbroken sleep.

Forgot to tell you, while I was out shopping on Wednesday with mum in the supermarket, I bumped into my old doctor, Dr Rodrigues! He's such a lovely man, retired years and years ago, but still remembers me and always stops for a chat. It's the oddest thing - he's the one who got me addicted to the second lot of tranquilizers, but I've never resented him for it. Back then, doctors just didn't know how addictive they could be and he really helped me to cut them down gradually and get off them. I remember how pleased he was when I told him I'd stopped taking them altogether, he was so supportive right through my withdrawal and felt so bad that he'd got me addicted. It was good to see him, I'm always amazed at the people who still remember me years after! My teacher when I was 10 still remembers me and greets me like I'm an old friend, which I guess after so many years I really am, lol!

[debmommy22.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you can't sleep through the night. It is awful. I have been like that the last few nights. 4 and 5 hours of sleep a night. My fault last night, I was trying to reduce the amount of the tranqulizer/Ativan that I am on since I am not sure if it is causing welts too??? I ended up having to take it and I still didn't sleep enough. When I go to bed the heat from the covers have been making my welts come up the last few nights. I wake-up hot and itchy, even if I just sleep under a sheet. This is ridiculous. I take Benadryl before bed, but I'm not sure it helps much anymore. I may have a tolerance built up to it now. I wish I could stop the Ativan to see if the welts would stop all together, if they don't I will know it is my nerves too probably causing them. I know nothing for sure though. The welts my still be happening from the last two drugs I took from the Chinese doctor. Cancelling my appointment with him tomorrow. How funny, he/Dr. Han is Chinese, but only has chemicals for pain. Bret is an American who studied acupunture and does not, I guess, prescribe medication. Seems backwards. lol!

Oh, yes back sleeping, it is so hard. I don't know how I will ever sleep through the night again with medications, Michael said my body eventually would if I get off the Ativan. I may have to. :( ...even on it I don't always sleep well, just depends on the night.

You are so sweet not to hold any bad feelings toward your former doctor about the tranquilizers. They usually mean well, they are all trying to helps us deal with life I guess. That's great that you met up with you old school teacher. That must have been nice. I had some teachers I never want to see again. I know, I'm Miss negetive. I met up with one when I was working a job in a clothing store and she still managed to make me feel like I was a lazy, loser who could have made more of myself.=P I hated school, especially elementary school. Some of the teachers were over critical, mean old bats! lol! I was too sensitive and I needed encouragment not criticism all the time.

Yes I am scared of how I am going to get through bad menstrual cramps next month. I am thinking of trying herbs. I just looked up Black Coosh and it has the main ingredient in it that Aspirin has?! It's a plant but my lips would swell up on it too. I am going to research Chinese herbs, though I just looked up ginger and it said (rarely) people have developed rashes to it, but with me, you know I would break out probably! I need acupuncture for cramps too it seems. :( I will keep looking though, just in case there is something. I want to swear off medications, but I am so scared. What happens when I get the flu or something this winter???

On another post I am going to tell you about acupunture today and your crystals came yesterday I think. I have been loving them! They are so beautiful and all of them have uses that I hope will help me, stuff I needed. Thank you!!! :D

Love Deb.

♥

[bk_forever]

*hugs tight* I'm glad they arrived and you are enjoying them, hope they might help at least a bit.

I'm sorry you're having a rotten time, I just really hope the acupuncture will help. Herbal medicine can help, but I guess with you being so allergic, you have to be careful. I eat crystallized ginger all the time, I love it, always have a bag of it by my bed where I can nibble on it. If you have a health food store near you, you could ask them about supplements for menstrual cramps. I know at our health food store the staff are very knowledgable and helpful.

Mr Bevan was my form teacher when I was 9-10, he called me Pony Express because I carried my school bag everywhere with me. I had kind of a crush on him I think, he was a young teacher, also my first Welshman! He was always so funny and he encouraged my reading, he's a large part of the reason I still read so much, he made me love books even more than I already did. Now when I see him (he's in his seventies now but still quite handsome), he grabs my hand and I get a kiss on the cheek.

Oh yes, there were teachers I really didn't like, especially at grammar school (think Highschool). My Maths teacher was terrifying! I was never very good at maths.

Take care, love ya! Talk to you again soon, J xxxx