Life Sucks

[bk_forever]

All I wanted today was a nice, quiet, relaxing evening and possibly an early night as I haven't been feeling too good the last few days.

What do I get? Mum suddenly out of the blue became very dizzy, so I had to get the paramedics in and spent an hour and a half running around dealing with everything mum needed, answering questions, and packing her off to hospital. It is 11pm here, and the hospital she's being taken to, there's no guarantee that they won't discharge her in the middle of the night. She's 84, had a stroke less than 18 months ago, and is often confused. I couldn't go with her because of my own health issues and my sister is 50 miles away.

I have no idea what will happen now, I should go to bed but what if they phone in the middle of the night to say she's coming home? Plus, if she's so dizzy she can't even stand up, how do they think I can take care of her when she outweighs me by about three stone.

Life sucks. I'm exhausted anyway because I never get enough sleep, now I've got even more to deal with, alone. There's not even anyone I can call.

Comments

[zazajb.livejournal.com]

J *folds into hug* I have been away from LJ for a long time but still follow my dear friends. If I can do anything to help I am here - and usually awake in the middle of the night too...
With all my love
D xxx

[bk_forever]

Thanks, D, The hug helps. I just don't know if I should try to sleep - I'm exhausted as it is, I never get enough sleep, but Lord knows what the stupid hospital might do. I'm worn out, but tense and stressed and not feeling well anyway. I was so happy earlier because of some nice news, and looking forward to a relaxing evening. Then this happens. I should have known. When one thing goes wrong, everything else piles on top. That's always the way. I'm not well, so naturally the universe dumps everything it can on me. I just wish I could move out and leave someone else to cope with everything.

[tardisjournal.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* I'm really sorry for everything you're going through! That would be stressful and awful under the best of circumstances, but being ill yourself just makes it so much worse. I wouldn't want to sleep either knowing I might be woken up at any minute by a jangling phone... but maybe take the phone in with you and try to rest? Just lying down and doing some breathing exercises might help. Your mental state, if nothing else.

My prayers for you and your mom!

[bk_forever]

Thanks *hugs* Going to try to sleep soon. I've got the phone with me but don't know how long it last when not attached to its base. Can't leave it downstairs because I won't hear if it rings.

The joys of my life. I sleep badly at the best of times and I really need sleep at the moment, I'm so exhausted.

[akawho.livejournal.com]

I feel for you. I too am a caregiver (I live with my Dad) and have been in similar situations. Try to get some sleep - I know that's hard to do when you're worried and all wound up. *HUGS*

[bk_forever]

*hugs back* Thank you. It's a hard role to be in. I'm not in good health or physically strong, so it'd hard enough at the best of times, but right now... In a way, it's worse than after her stroke, because at least then I could talk to the nurses at the hospital. Right now, I can't even get through to the ward mum's on. I've lost count of how many times I've phoned just to be told the line is busy and to call back later.

[too-beauty.livejournal.com]

so sorry to hear that things are so difficult ...
Well, I am a vampire and stay up late at night if you need to rant, I am your ear!
Hope everything gets better by tomorrow ...
sending an extra large hug, my friend!

[bk_forever]

Thanks, M *hugs back* I got a bit of sleep, but I've been trying to get through to the hospital for hours and all I've managed to find out is that she's been moved to a ward. The ward's phone is busy though and I can't get through to speak to anyone.

[toshiani007.livejournal.com]

Big hug, my dear J!!!
Hope everything will be fine!!!
Love!!!

[bk_forever]

Thanks, Ani. *hugs back*

[sassysailorgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, pet. Would that I were there to help you out. Sending you lots of good energy! *hugs*

[bk_forever]

Thank you *hugs* Good energy will help - I have very little of any kind right now.

No idea what's going on. I know mum's been moved to a ward, but the ward's number is engaged every time I try to call.

[nightchild78.livejournal.com]

OMG! I really hoped the run of bad luck would finally end. You don't deserve to have so much trouble in your life. The hospital staff should take their responsability and adjust to your situation. You don't release a so fragile woman in the middle of the night. :(. I sympathize with you and give you a million of big hugs.

[bk_forever]

*hugs* Thank you.

So far, mum's still in hospital, on a ward finally. As far as I can tell, she hasn't been seen by a doctor yet, but I can't get through to the ward to find anything else out. It's frustrating.

[angelsphonebox.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you're going through this :(. My thoughts and wishes are with you. I wish I was there to give you a hand. I will send lots of happy thoughts your way so that everything gets better soon!

[bk_forever]

Thank you *hugs* I can use all the happy thoughts I can get. Right now, all I know is that mum spent the night in A & E and was moved to a short-stay ward this morning, but since I can't get through to the ward because the number is permanently busy, I have no idea what's going on. *sigh*

[owensheart.livejournal.com]

*hugs* oh my friend I hop eyour mumm will be ok, I know the feeling of wanting to sleep and not wanting to sleep because the hospital may call, my hubby is chronically ill so he has stints in hospital.

hope all goes well with you.

[bk_forever]

*hugs back* Thank you. It's hard, isn't it, waiting and not knowing? I can't even get through to the ward she's on to see how she is. the number's engaged. I'm in limbo.

[jeeplovergal2.livejournal.com]

Hugs and hope things get better.
Di xxoo

[bk_forever]

Thanks, Di *hugs back*

I don't know what's happening except mum's been moved to a ward. The phone is busy, all I get are messages to call back later.

[neverminetohold.livejournal.com]

I feel for you! *hugs* Mum and I were the caregivers for EZ for years, and while that was stress, to do all that alone... tbh, I don't even want to contemplate it ^_^" I wish you strength and patience to get through this new challenge, and also that your mother will recover and be well!

[bk_forever]

Thank you, it is tough, especially having to be responsible for so much. We have carers morning and evening, but that still leaves me in charge for the other 22.5 hours.

Life Sucks.

[(Anonymous)]

I love Janto.

But you have a lot of friends.
You Are Not Alone.

I hope that your mom is doing better.
You do not need this.

We love you.

Re: Life Sucks.

[bk_forever]

Thanks, hon *hugs* I do have a bunch of amazingly supportive friends, and I'm grateful for all of you.

Mum's staying in hospital another night for sure, but the doctors don't seem to know what caused the dizziness. She might be home sometime tomorrow. Just got to wait and see.

[iantojjackh.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I;m so sorry. I hope things aren't too serious with your mum. I know I've all but dsiappeared off the face of the planet. But if you ever want to rant or vent feel free to drop me an email.

I do miss you all and one of these days I have to get back into writing. Video games seem to be stealing my time these days.

[bk_forever]

You're taking a well-earned break from writing, look at it that way. I've never got into video games - if I did, I'd probably never surface again.

Thank you *hugs* Mum might be home tomorrow, though the doctors don't seem to have a clue what caused the dizziness.

[lexxiescott]

Just hugs and more hugs.

[bk_forever]

*clings* Thank you. Hopefully things will get better.

[jedi-harkness.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight* I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time. I hope both you and your mum are feeling better. <3

[bk_forever]

Mum might possibly be home today, I'm not sure since I can't get through to the ward.

I thought I was feeling better this morning, but it didn't last through all the running around doing chores. Still feel like crap, and when mum comes home I'll have more on my plate looking after her. I can't win either way. I just really need time to relax, but I never get enough to make a difference..

Thank you *hugs*

[angelsphonebox.livejournal.com]

I hope you've had a better day and hopefully some good news about your mum? Still sending lots of hugs and happy thoughts your way to give you strength. You are not alone in this, even though we are so far apart. I've been in your shoes and it's a very hard place to be. You are doing wonderful and you have so much love and support from around the world! *big hugs*

[bk_forever]

Thank you. *hugs back*

Mum might be home today, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, it must mean she's okay, on the other hand, it piles more work and stress on me when I'm still not well myself and have no energy because I can't eat much. I'm just tired of doing everything and never getting a break. Even with mum in hospital, I had the fire to care for and stacks of laundry to do, plus people phoning and visiting to find out how mum was doing. And not one of them bothers to ask how I am. If I didn't have my LJ friends to talk to, I think I'd just walk out and not come back, let someone else carry the load. You all keep me going.

[milady-dragon.livejournal.com]

Oh wow...I hope she's okay now. *hugs*

[bk_forever]

I just called the hospital (again), she's up and dressed, but the doctor hasn't seen her yet. Whether she's coming home today or not, I have no idea. I've got to call back later and find out. They don't even know what caused the dizziness *shrugs*

Thank you *hugs back*