Ficlet: Not Now!

[bk_forever]

Title: Not Now!

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Ianto, Jack. OCs

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Nada.

Summary: Ianto’s in London at a UNIT Conference when he gets a call from Jack.

Word Count: 500

Written For: Prompt #410: Sexting, at slashthedrabble.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

UNIT conferences were never the most scintillating affairs, but Ianto always dutifully attended when Torchwood’s presence was requested, because the UNIT bigwigs did occasionally, and probably accidentally, allow small nuggets of useful information to slip out. So, that was where he was now, seated at an impressive table, in an equally impressive conference room in London, bored to tears.

Several of the attending scientists had been arguing about the same piece of mysterious technology for the past two hours, and they were all completely wrong about everything. Ianto could have set them straight, but naturally nobody had asked him, and he wasn’t about to volunteer the information. It was doubtful that they’d believe it was merely the alien equivalent of a kettle even if he told them, since they were firmly convinced it was some kind of advanced weaponry.

His mind was drifting, idly wondering when, and indeed if, the meeting would break for dinner, when he felt his mobile start to vibrate. Surreptitiously sliding it out of his pocket, he opened the incoming text. Unsurprisingly, it was from Jack.

‘R u nekkid?’

Ianto didn’t know whether to laugh or roll his eyes. Trust Jack to open with a comment like that! Then again, it was getting on nine at night, so he could be excused for assuming that Ianto would be in his room at the hotel by now.

‘No, I’m fully dressed,’ he texted back.

The reply was almost instantaneous: =(

A moment passed, and then another text: ‘Y?’

‘Still in a meeting,’ Ianto responded.

‘Oh. Wanna know what I’m wearing?’

‘No.’ That wasn’t strictly true, although Ianto was pretty sure the answer would be ‘nothing.’ It was just that he had no intention of getting dragged into sexting while he was surrounded by a bunch of humourless UNIT officers and scientists.

‘U r no fun.’

‘Neither is this meeting.’

‘I’ll make it better?’

‘No.’

‘Spoilsport.’

‘Waiting won’t kill you.’

‘I’m bored!’

‘Join the club. Talk to you later, Jack.’ Ianto turned his phone off and put it away, turning his attention back to proceedings and trying to concentrate, but the scientists were still arguing.

The so-called conference continued to drag on, until somewhere close to ten at night, Ianto finally ran out of patience.

“Okay, that’s enough. I’m tired, the swill you call coffee is undrinkable, I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and that mysterious new weapon you’re arguing over is a Thalaxian kettle.” He snatched the device from one of the scientists, turned it on, adjusted the temperature control, and dipped it in his cup of cold coffee, instantly heating it. “See? Now, I’m going to get something to eat and go to my room. Perhaps in the morning we can turn our attention to something of actual importance?” With that, he strode from the room, calling room service to order a meal. He was going to have a quick shower, eat a nice dinner, and then return Jack’s call. This time he would definitely be nekkid!

The End

Comments

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

*snickers* Figures Jack would be all about sexting! (And that UNIT would be getting a piece of alien tech hopelessly wrong! Where's their scientific advisor when they need him? ;D )

[bk_forever]

The Doctor has better things to do ;)

Ianto would advise them if they asked nicely. Maybe. But they didn't even let him have lunch when he arrived, or provide decent refreshments, so they're on their own. He has better things to do too - sexting with Jack!

Thank you!

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Haha, I'm sure he does! I can just see him being perfectly exasperated with them for calling him in on something so minor--unless it was Ten or Eleven, which would probably result in cheery rambling, which would get even less accomplished, lol!

Would've served UNIT right if Jack had been there instead of Ianto; he'd probably be sexting under the table the whole time, which...would probably wind up in embarrassment for everyone involved (except Jack!).

Very welcome! ^.^

[bk_forever]

Too true, Jack doesn't do embarrassment, at least not for anything involving sex!

I can just see either Ten or Eleven spotting the device and going "Oooh! I've wanted one of those for ages! Makes a lovely cup of tea!" then pocketing it, lol!

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Yyyyyyyyyep. I can just see him with this big, entirely unabashed grin, with just a hint of you know you want me in his eyes to anyone who'd object!

Haha, sounds accurate! Possibly Two, as well. Nine and Three would probably just be different levels of annoyed. Oh, geez; I'm having way too much fun imagining how all his lives would react, lol!

[bk_forever]

But it means you have an active imagination even when you're not getting words down on computer screen, which is good.

Jack and that grin, lol! It gets him into as much trouble as it gets him out of! But we (and Ianto) love him anyway ;)

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

Good way to look at it. Maybe this means I'll be able to get my characters to cooperate! :)

Oh, I don't see how anyone could not love Jack! He's such a great character. :D And Barrowman's enjoyment playing him just shines through.

[bk_forever]

Sometimes I think JB would like to be Jack Harkness when he grows up ;)

Can any writer ever truly get their characters to cooperate? Seems to me that the characters are usually the ones who win every battle of wills o_O

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

He does look like a little boy who's having the time of his life! :D

Good point. A lot of my stories were me losing those battles. O.o

[bk_forever]

Some of my best fics have come about because my characters wouldn't do what I wanted them to do. I guess they know themselves best!

JB is the Peter Pan of entertainment. He'll never grow up =)

[breannarose1.livejournal.com]

"...that mysterious new weapon you’re arguing over is a Thalaxian kettle"
because Ianto knows everything! ^_^

I can see this happening.
Now Ianto can enjoy sexting with Jack :)

[bk_forever]

Of course he does! He's keeper of the Torchwood archives, he's learned a great deal from sorting through everything there, and he remembers it all!

I'm sure he can sext with Jack while eating, he's the king of multi-tasking!

Thank you =D

[owensheart.livejournal.com]

Lol oh I can just see Ianto doing that to those Unit people.

Great ficlet.

[bk_forever]

He has a low tolerance for stupid that if offset by a huge amount of patience, but when that runs out... Maybe now UNIT will start showing him more respect.

Thank you!

[sagrario martínez castro (from livejournal.com)]

I´d love to read Jack & Ianto reunited after the sexting! Congratulations!

[bk_forever]

I'm a bit swamped at the moment, but you never know...

Than you!

[raynewton.livejournal.com]

You'd think UNIT would realise by now that Ianto really does know everything - unless he hides his light under a bushel from them. I'm sure he's echoing Jack's amazing grin inside. He'll have plenty to sext in private, which will get Jack all hot and bothered. Though wouldn't be in the least surprised of he's actually sneaked in, and was waiting - naked - in Ianto's room already

[bk_forever]

Awww! That would be a cute idea, but probably not - someone has to keep the kids in order back home.

Ianto doesn't usually tell UNIT anything unless they specifically ask. Why give away information to people who might not use it responsibly? What they don't know, they can't use to hurt anyone. It's relatively safe telling them about the kettle though.

Thank you!

[too-beauty.livejournal.com]

hahahahahah Loved it! It should be Ianto the one to set those Unit guy straight.
ummmmm nekkid Ianto? Photos??????

[bk_forever]

Ianto wouldn't let me in with my camera, he said he was for Jack's eyes only =(

Ianto was tired of their stupidity. Normally he wouldn't volunteer information, but he didn't want to be there all night when he was hungry and had better things to do with his time.

Thank you!