Fic: Eight-Legged Monsters

[bk_forever]

Title: Eight-Legged Monsters

Author: badly_knitted

Characters: Jack, Ianto

Rating: G

Spoilers: Nada.

Summary: Jack’s fearless in the face of everything. Except when it comes to spiders.

Warnings: Arachnophobes beware!

Word Count: 600

Written For: m_findlow’s prompt ‘Torchwood, Jack, spider,’ at fic_promptly.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

Jack considered himself to be pretty fearless. After all, there wasn’t much that could kill him, at least not permanently. Immortality did have a few things going for it. Nevertheless, if there was one thing he couldn’t bear, it was spiders; all those long, scuttly legs made his skin crawl.

He knew it was dumb; most species of spider were completely harmless to people, even beneficial. Without spiders, there’d be a whole lot more flies and other creepy crawlies, but no matter how often he told himself that, it didn’t make the blindest bit of difference. They terrified him more than any heavily armed alien invasion force ever could. If the world was ever invaded by spiders, everyone was doomed. They’d get no help from Jack; he’d be too busy hiding under the bed. Or somewhere else that would be less likely to harbour the eight-legged menaces.

So here he was once again, at the mercy of a monster and in need of rescue. He prodded the still body beside him. “Ianto?”

Silence.

Poke. Poke. “Ianto, wake up!”

“Mmpf.”

“Ianto!”

“Go to sleep, Jack. It’s the middle of the night, and I’m tired even if you aren’t.”

“But there’s a spider!”

Ianto groaned, rolling to face Jack. “Of course there is. Where?”

Jack, lying stock still on his back, eyes fixed on the ceiling, pointed upwards.

Flopping onto his back, Ianto looked up too. The streetlamps outside cast a bright glow and by their light, he could just make out the small, dark blob against the white paintwork above him.

“Jack, it’s tiny!”

“I don’t care! What if it falls off the ceiling into bed with us?”

“Then it’ll probably get flattened when one of us rolls over. Bye bye spider.”

“Not funny!”

“It wasn’t supposed to be.”

“Please?”

It was obvious he wasn’t going to get any sleep until he dealt with the problem. With a weary sigh, Ianto climbed out of bed. “Fine; I’ll fetch something to catch it in, you get the stepladder.”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“I have to keep looking at it, otherwise it might disappear and I won’t know where it’s gone. I’ll never be able to sleep in here again!”

“You’re such a drama queen!” Ianto left the room, muttering under his breath, “Wonderful, do it all yourself, Ianto, as usual. Probably get it done faster that way.”

Jack remained where he was, staring fixedly upwards, not daring to even blink.

Half asleep, Ianto hauled the stepladder into the bedroom, climbed up, and caught the offending arachnid with a glass and a piece of paper, dumping it out the bathroom window before returning to bed. By the time he crawled in beside Jack, the other man was already fast asleep.

He rolled his eyes. “Typical, not even a thank you for saving him from the scary monster.” A thought occurred to him and shifting position, he planted his freezing cold feet firmly against Jack’s nice, warm legs. Jack shot upright with a yelp.

“Argh!”

“Lie still and go to sleep, Jack.”

“Your feet are like blocks of ice!”

“I know, and it’s your fault for making me get out of bed, so you can warm them up for me.” Ianto didn’t even bother opening his eyes. “It’s the least you can do, after what I just did for you.”

“You’re right, you’re my brave, fearless hero.” Jack settled down and gave Ianto a big, sloppy kiss. “Mwah. Thank you.”

“I should think so too. Goodnight, Jack.”

“Night, Ianto.” Jack smiled contentedly. He could always count on Ianto to save him from scary spiders.

The End

Comments

[mamaduck46.livejournal.com]

Jack is just like my daughters, see a spider and it has to be killed NOW. I'm usually the one that has to kill it.

Sandy

[bk_forever]

My mum was terrified of them, so I had to rescue her every time. I don't like them either, but I've had to learn to deal with them. They get caught and put outside rather then killed though. I might not be their biggest fan, but I won't kill them unless they get seriously damaged. I even save them if they go for an accidental swim. Spiders don't swim well.

Thank you.

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

Hee Hee. Reminds me that I have to post those contest Week entries. Jack and spiders just don't mix.

[bk_forever]

Poor Jack is such a wimp where spiders are involved. He's lucky he has brave, heroic Ianto to save him!

I'm still posting from previous challenges and contests!

Thank you!

[owensheart.livejournal.com]

Lol that would be my hubby to a tee. He hates spiders and Im the one who has to deal with them.

[bk_forever]

I was always the one having to rescue mum, even though I don't like the either!

Thank you.

[raynewton.livejournal.com]

Ouch! Commiserations, Jack.I'd never wish a phobia on my worst enemy - it's a horrible feeling. Well, maybe Gwen. Ianto has the compassion to understand the problem, even if it's annoying, Used to have a cat who'd jump into the bath to eat the ones that fell in. I how have a mini vaccum type thing to catch them.

[bk_forever]

I have empty plastic milk containers in every room of the house, so I can grab one quickly any time there's a spider to catch. Although I loathe spiders, I can't bring myself to kill them, but once caught I can take them to the bottom of the garden and dump them there and if it's dark out, I can leave them in the container overnight. Works beautifully. =)

Cats can be very useful to deal with pests.

Thank you!

[reddevilpoes.livejournal.com]

I love spiders. They weave these intricate structures to catch pesky mosquitoes!! They look amazing. I have a pet Hapalopus, beautiful brown and orange and it loves crickets.
Don't kill them please..set them free so they can keep you free from disease spreading mosquitoes.

[bk_forever]

The only time I ever kill a spider is if it's badly injured. i always catch and release. I may not like spiders wandering around where I can see them indoors, but I love spider webs and I've even saved a few spiders that accidentally almost drowned themselves. I'm a big softy, lol! Ianto always saves spiders too.

Thank you.

[forsaken2003.livejournal.com]

OMG I can totally relate! I slept over at my sisters house yesterday and I went to bed after everyone and there was a spider on my bedroom floor! I through tissue paper on it stomped twice and spent the rest of the night in the living room watching T.V! At least Jack had someone to kill it for him! I need a Ianto!

[bk_forever]

Ianto would never stoop to killing a spider, he just caught it and put it outside. Having a Ianto around would be very handy though, for all those unpleasant little tasks.

Sorry you had such an unpleasant spider experience!

Thank you.

[black59.livejournal.com]

while hero weakness !!
LOL
Ianto, Jack's savior !!
LOL

[bk_forever]

Every hero has a weak point. Spiders are Jack's.

Thank you!

[too-beauty.livejournal.com]

hahahahha the Big hero so afraid of a tiny thing! well, all of us have a weakness ...

[bk_forever]

Spiders are just creepy. Jack is happier facing big monsters.

Thank you!