Fic: Ianto's Little Helper - Part 2/2
Sep. 16th, 2012 03:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bk_forever
Title: Ianto’s Little Helper - Part 2/2
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
badly_knitted
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, Owen & Gwen
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: Ummm, I wrote it?
Word Count: 2529
Summary: Torchwood gains a new employee.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters. Which is sad.
A/N: Happy Birthday to tardisjournal and jedi_harkness
When Owen arrived at the Hub an hour later, somewhat hungover, he made his way straight to the kitchen area, hoping for a coffee. What he saw there made his jaw nearly hit the floor. He rubbed his eyes, looked again, then stormed up to Jack’s office.
“Jack, did you turn Teaboy invisible?”
“What are you talking about, Owen,” asked Ianto, “I’m right here.”
Owen spun around and sure enough, there was Ianto, looking perfectly normal, complete with head. Owen scrubbed his face with his hands.
“God, what was I drinking last night?” He sat down heavily on a nearby chair.
Taking pity on Owen in his fragile state, Ianto explained the situation.
“So one of your suits is doing your job all by itself?”
“Yep, that’s about it. Takes a bit of getting used to, but it’s actually rather good having an assistant. Still not sure how it can see to do things though.” Ianto looked thoughtful for a moment then clapped his hands together. “Anyway, I’d better get up to the Tourist Office so I can explain to Gwen when she gets here.”
Before he could move, there was a scream and a loud crash from the main Hub. Ianto winced.
“Too late.”
The door burst open and a breathless Gwen rushed in. “Jack, Ianto’s got no head!”
“Sorry about that, Gwen,” Ianto apologized, stepping forward, “I’d hoped to catch you in the Tourist Office, but I got held up.”
Gwen stared at Ianto, then looked down through the windows to where the suit was clearing up everything Gwen had accidentally knocked off her desk, setting things right again. “Would someone mind explaining what the hell’s going on?”
“Well,” said Jack, seems we have a new team member thanks to a very minor mishap with some alien tech. I was thinking of calling him George.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “George? Dare I ask why?”
“I like the name, I think it suits him – no pun intended. Can’t keep calling him ‘suit’, can we?”
Gwen stared from one to the other, trying to make sense of what they were saying, until Tosh came into Jack’s office.
“Tosh,” she begged, “can you please explain why there is a complete Ianto in here and a headless Ianto down there?”
Tosh opened her mouth to begin one of her detailed scientific explanations, but Gwen held up a hand to stop her.
“The short version, please?”
“Okay,” Tosh smiled, “short version. Ianto’s suit accidentally came into contact with broken organic alien technology, and has become animated so that the tech can continue to carry out its basic function.”
“Okay,” Gwen said warily, “and what is its basic function?”
“To help,” Tosh shrugged. “It’s perfectly harmless, it just does what it ‘remembers’ Ianto doing. Basic, routine tasks only though, the kind of things Ianto has done hundreds of times. Making coffee, tidying up, filing – that kind of thing.”
Gwen moved closer to the window and stared down at the suit.
“It’s kind of creepy, wandering around without a head. How can it see where it’s going?”
“No idea,” said Jack cheerfully. “Brilliant, isn’t it?”
“It’s bizarre, that’s what it is,” Gwen shot back.
Ianto gave a shrug. “It’s Torchwood. Bizarre is what passes for normal around here,” he added as he headed out of the office to get on with some work.
Gwen could only agree.
The End
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2012-09-16 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 03:03 pm (UTC)Thank you =)
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Date: 2012-09-16 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 03:06 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2012-09-16 02:57 pm (UTC)Ianto has a helper, the suit leaves Ianto more free time and everyone is happy .... Jack will find the way to have a threesome somehow!
thanks for Sunday laugh!!!!
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Date: 2012-09-16 03:09 pm (UTC)Yes, George the suit is always very happy to help and saves Ianto a lot of work. He wouldn't be very good in a threesome though because he's still just a suit without any of the bits underneath that make things so interesting.
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Date: 2012-09-16 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 03:13 pm (UTC)Jack is wiser than he seems sometimes, he understands that the suit is just a suit that walks and can make coffee, it wouldn't be able to do any of the fun things that a real, live Ianto can do because it lacks the necessary parts. Poor George is destined for a life of filing and cleaning, it's a good thing he doesn't have a mind or he'd be bored out of it before long.
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Date: 2012-09-16 03:23 pm (UTC)Thankx for sharing K. Have a good day.
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Date: 2012-09-16 03:56 pm (UTC)Well, Ianto doesn't wear gloves often (I think the only time is in the fake memories Adam forces into his mind), and I like it when the team can't figure everything out. Alien tech can do anything, it's such a useful excuse for anything you can't (or, as in this case, don't want to) explain. A little mystery is a good thing.
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Date: 2012-09-16 03:28 pm (UTC)Loved it!!!
Hugs and kissitos!!!
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Date: 2012-09-16 03:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 04:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 04:49 pm (UTC)Ianto was hoping he could get a bit of extra sleep...
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!
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Date: 2012-09-16 08:57 pm (UTC)I found myself hoping the suit wouldn't try to "help" Jack in more some of the more intimate ways that Ianto is accustomed to, but it seems very professional.
Perhaps because it's a suit? If it was his p.j.'s, this might have been a very different story...
eta: Thanks for the birthday wishes in the author's note! I feel so special. :D
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Date: 2012-09-16 09:15 pm (UTC)Have no fear, George won't be getting frisky with Jack (or vice-versa). After all, George doesn't have anything to get frisky with, it's just a suit with nothing inside. If you looked down the neck you'd see the inside of the shirt and right down to the insides of the shoes. Jack prefers something a bit more substantial to play with and George is all business anyway. (But just in case, Ianto had a word with his assistant about which of Ianto's duties it was going to take over).
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Date: 2012-09-16 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-16 10:13 pm (UTC)Glad I could give you a laugh!
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Date: 2012-09-16 11:53 pm (UTC)But...what does Myfanwy think of George, LOL?
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Date: 2012-09-17 09:49 am (UTC)Good question, and one I don't have an answer for!
Yes, George doesn't need to sleep, or eat. Doesn't need paying or time off, either. The perfect employee, all he wants to do is work and be helpful, and he never talks back or complains. Everyone is happy, lol!
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Date: 2012-09-17 06:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 09:55 am (UTC)And while Jack does find Ianto's suits attractive, it's because of what they conceal - a naked Ianto - the suit on its own isn't very appealing when all it has inside it is.... well, nothing really. Jack has his limits.
Thank you!
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Date: 2012-09-17 07:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 10:00 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2012-09-17 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-17 06:10 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed!
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Date: 2012-09-18 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-18 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-18 04:55 pm (UTC)K
x
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Date: 2012-09-18 06:25 pm (UTC)George is very good with cleaning, but I don't know if he can cook - he might try to file the ingredients!
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Date: 2012-09-18 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-18 10:46 pm (UTC)And best of all, George doesn't need food or sleep, day's off or wages - he's the perfect employee, keeping the place spick and span 24 hours a day! Ianto was quite happy once he realised he wasn't losing a suit, he was gaining an assistant!
Glad you liked it!
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Date: 2012-09-18 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-18 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 10:00 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2012-09-19 02:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 04:04 pm (UTC)To me, Torchwood lends itself so well to 'strange' that it almost seems normal for Ianto to have one of his own suits as an assistant. At least he doesn't have to train it and it will carry out his job to his own exacting standards!
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Date: 2012-09-19 06:01 pm (UTC)Clever, funny and adorable))
Thanks for such lovely story!
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Date: 2012-09-19 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 06:07 pm (UTC)(there is a weird HTML code in the last sentence where the word "Torchwood" should be)
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Date: 2012-09-19 06:24 pm (UTC)I think Ianto would have had more fun with the idea if it hadn't been first thing in the morning with him not having a thing to wear. He got a bit distracted. I suspect that he was secretly pleased he didn't get up to the Tourist Office in time to warn Gwen though!
Thanks, I'll go take a look - LJ has been playing up for me recently!
ETA> Fixed it, thanks. I remember having the devil's own job getting LJ to let me put a link back to part 1 at the start - the link kept vanishing. Now I know where it went!
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Date: 2012-09-19 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-19 09:19 pm (UTC)Thank you, glad you liked it!
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Date: 2012-09-21 04:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-21 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-22 12:03 am (UTC)Really loved it!
Good job scaring Gwen Mr. Suit!
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Date: 2012-09-22 09:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-08 02:09 pm (UTC)BTW thanx for the links.
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Date: 2013-08-08 02:46 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it, and you're welcome. It surprises me to see how much I've written over the past few years. Especially as I never intended to write anything...
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