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Title: Penance
Fandom: BtVS
Author: [livejournal.com profile] badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy, Angel.
Rating: PG
Written Using: The dw100 prompt ‘Haunted’.
Setting: Between Becoming and Anne.
Summary: Buffy finds that some things are impossible to run away from.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
A/N: Triple drabble.




Leaving home after her mother’s ultimatum, and after everything that followed, had seemed the most logical course of action. To go where no one knew her name, or that she was the Slayer, to maybe escape her destiny or at the very least, give herself the space she needed to come to terms with killing the man she loved… There were too many memories in Sunnydale, and too many disappointed people.


In L.A. Buffy had imagined she could lose herself, be someone new, someone not so heavily burdened by loss and her mother’s harsh words. Turned out it wasn’t so easy. Some things inevitably followed her to the city. She’d been a fool to think they wouldn’t, because while she could leave her friends behind, she couldn’t leave herself. The memories, the grief, the hurt, all of it was still there every time she closed her eyes, and if that wasn’t bad enough, she was being haunted.


Angel, the love of her young life, wouldn’t leave her alone. He filled her dreams with visions of the life she’d once hoped they might have together, and always, without fail, those sweet fantasies would turn dark. Angel staring at her in sorrow, disappointment, and accusation as he crumbled to dust while she stood there, helpless to save him.


Sleep was an endless torment, and yet despite the nightmares, she didn’t run from it. She didn’t want to stop seeing Angel, no matter how much it hurt, and anyway, she deserved his anger, his bitterness, his condemnation. She should have found another way… No, she just should have killed Angelus sooner, before so many other people lost their lives at his hands.


If her dreams were haunted, that was her penance, and no more than she deserved. Maybe someday Angel would forgive her.



The End









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