Fic: Tequila Immortal
Nov. 1st, 2013 06:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bk_forever
Title: Tequila Immortal
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
badly_knitted
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 306
Summary: Jack’s in trouble, and he’s dragged Ianto down with him, which means even worse trouble – at least from Jack’s point of view.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Jack being Jack while drunk.
Written For: mangacrack ‘s ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif){kind=small}
comment_fic prompt ‘any, any, (610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck’
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters. Which is sad.
Jack groaned and slowly opened his eyes, to be confronted by a cold cement floor and a pair of very shiny shoes.
“About time you woke up,” a rather frosty Welsh accented voice announced. “I’ve been waiting nearly an hour to tell you this is all your fault and I’m never letting you drink tequila on a date again.”
Raising his head carefully from the floor, Jack risked a glance at his companion and erstwhile date. Ianto’s arms were folded across his chest and even his eyebrows looked angry. They were very expressive eyebrows; Jack had long since learned to gauge Ianto’s mood by them and things weren’t looking good for him. At this point, decaf was the least of his worries.
“Um, would it help if I said I was sorry?”
The only reply was an icy glare.
“What exactly did I do? I don’t actually remember much after the tenth shot.”
“The tenth? How about after the nineteenth? You said you could handle any kind of alcohol then you dragged me into the alley behind the club, told me you were going to fuck me into the middle of next week and took all your clothes off before starting on mine. That’s when the police showed up.”
“Oh.”
“That’s not the best part. They told us we were under arrest for indecent exposure and performing lewd acts in public, and you told them you hadn’t even started with the lewd acts yet, groped them both thoroughly and announced that they couldn't arrest you anyway because you had standards and they weren't hot enough to fuck. They were not amused.”
Jack winced. For the first time in a very long time, he wished the ground would just open and swallow him.
“Exactly how much trouble am I in?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
The End
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-11-01 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-01 07:17 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-01 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-01 11:25 pm (UTC)I feel bad for the coppers. Because Jack usually isn't that picky so they must be pretty darned bad off, although I guess compared to Ianto...
I think the least thing Jack should worry about is decaf. LOL!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 11:53 am (UTC)Jack has every reason to be worried....
Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-02 12:02 pm (UTC)The cops don't know whether to feel offended or relieved that Jack didn't think they were worthy of a shag. Of course in Jack's eyes, drunk or sober, everyone is less attractive when compared to Ianto. Strangely, Ianto doesn't feel as flattered by this as Jack would hope. Mostly because it's landed them both in the drunk tank for the night and getting a passed out, drunk Jack dressed again was not easy.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 02:42 pm (UTC)great fic.
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Date: 2013-11-02 04:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 05:21 pm (UTC)I enjoy reading your stories; I'll try to leave comments more often instead of lurking.
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Date: 2013-11-02 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 05:53 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-02 05:56 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-02 05:59 pm (UTC)Jack can't help being Jack, but apparently tequila enhances his basic Jackness. One thing's for sure, Ianto won't be letting him drink it again, lol!
Lurking is fine, but comments are better, I always love to hear what people think. Welcome!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-02 06:01 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-02 11:20 pm (UTC)I drank far too much tequila when I was at uni. Just the smell of it now makes me feel sick.
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Date: 2013-11-03 12:04 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2013-11-03 08:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-03 12:28 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-03 01:25 pm (UTC)Here's an icon of Jack with something he's not likely to enjoy for awhile after this. :-p
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Date: 2013-11-03 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-03 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-03 03:16 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-04 09:50 pm (UTC)He knows he can trust at Ianto for appropriate punishment.
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Date: 2013-11-04 10:37 pm (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2013-11-06 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 11:17 am (UTC)Thank you, I had a lot of fun with the prompt.
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Date: 2013-11-06 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 03:43 pm (UTC)I've now got this mental image of Gwen finding the police report (surely Jack and Ianto being arrested will flag up) and having a good old giggle to herself. Thus making the punishment for Jack worse when Ianto finds out.
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Date: 2013-11-06 06:47 pm (UTC)I think they'll be let out once Jack sobers up - Ianto was no more than slightly tipsy but drunk Jack was like an octopus, hands everywhere, Ianto couldn't fend him off. I'm sure Ianto will think up an appropriate punishment - maybe he'll tie Jack up and then get himself off while Jack can only watch. Every night for a week, lol!
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Date: 2013-11-06 09:38 pm (UTC)Wow, that is much more evil than I had imagined. Not that Jack doesn't deserve it, of course, but wow.
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Date: 2013-11-06 11:00 pm (UTC)I'm not writing it though, I don't write smut, my brain freaks out and hides under the bed when anyone sufggests that I should. I'm just not a smut writer. Fluff is my forte. I leave the smut to those who can keep track of body parts and make sure everyone involved has the right number of limbs and doesn't end up in impossible positions.
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Date: 2013-11-07 08:10 am (UTC)Oh, the mental imagery that goes with that! Trying to sort out whose legs are whose at the end.
I have no objections to you sticking to fluff. You are so very good at it :D
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Date: 2013-11-07 11:36 am (UTC)I take my hat off (well, I would if I wore one) to all those valiant souls who write smut. Isnto and Jack appreciate not having to work out afterwards which legs are theirs and where the extra ones came from.
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Date: 2013-11-17 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-17 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-17 11:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-17 11:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-17 08:21 pm (UTC)(by the way, you're mentioned in it. You don't mind, do you?)
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Date: 2013-11-17 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-01 04:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-01 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-02 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-02 07:20 pm (UTC)I've never had tequila, never been drunk either.
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Date: 2014-03-07 04:52 am (UTC)I adore when you write the fluffy stuff so don't ever change!!!
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Date: 2014-03-07 12:05 pm (UTC)Glad you liked this one, I had a lot of fun with it. And you really should read
Thank you.
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Date: 2014-03-08 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-08 10:57 am (UTC)